Congratulations voters! You have survived the arduous year or so of campaign commercials, political scandals and “binders full of women!” The votes are cast and we all await nervously the winner of who is to be the new Head of State, Commander in Chief, the Big Kahuna, Head Honcho, or whatever you will call the elected leader of the greatest country in the world—The President of the United States of America.
Look back with me, if you will, to everything we’ve been through with all these campaigns.
Anyone remember Herman Cain? You know, the republican candidate that was president of the National Restaurant Association and wanted to impose the same tax rate for both middle class and higher-class families? And, unfortunately, accused of sexual harassment by former employees of his company?
“I am suspending my presidential campaign,” he said at an event in Atlanta, “because of the continued distraction, the continued hurt… on me, on my family…”
Herman Cain regrettably dropped out of the presidential race Dec. 3 only after a few months of campaigning.
But Rick Santorum and Rick Perry, two other G.O.P candidates, were going strong with both men fighting for conservatism and states rights and, eventually, each other. You see another war had begun—and it wasn’t on Obamacare but on the noble subject of who was more conservative.
The war was, thankfully, short lived. Rick Perry dropped out Jan. 1, a month after the debate ensued.
In an article in the Huffington Post, Rick Perry dropped out because there was “no viable path forward in the contest” and that he knew “when to make a strategic retreat.” His exit speaks for itself.
Which left Santorum to fight Newt Gingrich and current presidential candidate Mitt Romney. But due to Santorum’s daughter Bella’s, condition—a rare disease called Trisomy 18—and an unfortunate lack of support from his own state, he opted out of the race. The odds were, apparently, not in his favor.
Only a month later Gingrich left the race as well. The reasons weren’t specified, but one could figure that it could have been Romney’s dominance over the Republican Party. And who could blame him? I mean, look at that hair! Who wouldn’t be intimidated?
And then the real campaigning began. With Romney a shoe in for the Republicans, and Obama an obvious winner for the Democrats, the real racing ensued.
You know the rest of the story. When it comes to Romney we all asked questions like: “Is Romney too rich for this?” “Does he understand us middle class and poor people?” “Why won’t he show us his tax returns? What does he have to hide?” And, of course, “He isn’t one of us! He has a bank account in some posh European country, actually likes equestrian sports and has been wealthy his entire life! How can we trust this guy?”
Fortunately for him he’s become just a little more lovable since those days.
Then you have the opposite side, “Look what Obama has done to our economy! There are millions of homeless, jobless people and he’s been no help! How can we trust him for a second term?” And, “What’s all this mess with healthcare and Medicare? Why is he changing everything?”
And now we’re here. Hundreds of ads, a few debates and too many scandals later, Election Day has come. Well done voters, you’ve hung in there and now it’s time to cash in your time for some democracy. You deserve it.
But let me ask a question: Was it worth it? Was it worth the back talk and the disrespect? Is becoming president worth being called a sexual harasser? Is it worth the millions upon millions of dollars PAC’s, Super PAC’s and just plain old donors have given to their respective candidate? Was it worth the stress, sickness and sadness? At the end of the day, was all of this campaigning really worth it?
To the future president of the United States of America: I pray for your sanity. Lord knows you have more on your plate than my measly student loans. And I pray, more than anything, that you would seek from the one and only God to give you wisdom to get this country back on track. Amen.