What is the first thing that pops in your mind when you hear the word “asexual”? For many, it’s how a cell duplicates and creates daughter cells. However, there’s another kind of asexual that you don’t read about in your biology textbook.
That’s the kind of asexual that applies to people. It’s the kind of asexual I am.
Here’s the part where you’re probably making tons of assumptions. I’ve heard plenty of them, so allow me to say what being asexual isn’t.
No, if you cut my arm of me, another Alex will not grow from the limb. I’ll just lose a ton of blood and probably die.
No, I do not suddenly split into two people. You’re thinking of amoebas and cells.
No, I do not reproduce like a plant. Unfortunately, this is something I’ve been asked in all seriousness.
Finally, no, I do not impregnate myself. Quite frankly, I have no idea how that would even work because, let’s face it, even Mary had a little help getting pregnant with Jesus.
Now that I’ve explained what being asexual isn’t, let me explain what it is.
To put it simply, asexuals don’t feel sexual attraction.
I know. Scary, right? Some asexuals haven’t even had a sexual thought in their mind ever!
Of course, asexuals differ.
Some do have sex for their partners’ sakes, while others haven’t even kissed another person. Some like guys, girls, both, those in-between or even no one at all.
Though we may differ, we’re all tied together by our lack of a sex drive.
We also tend to identify as having two orientations: one romantic and one sexual. Personally, I’m a heteromantic asexual. As I’ve put it so eloquently in a few speeches for Erick Roebuck’s classes: “I like guys, I just don’t want to ever do one.”
So what’s the big deal?
I’ll be honest with you. Asexuals have it hard in this culture.
We’re bombarded with sexual images, even if it’s just a physically attractive person with little clothes, and feelings because that’s what’s considered the norm.
When we say we’re asexual, most people don’t seem to understand, mainly because most haven’t heard of our sexuality. If we try to explain it, we’re misunderstood.
We’re asked if we’ve been abused or told that we’ve just not yet met the right person yet. Surely the urges will come, they say. Some people have even asked if we’re in denial about our “true” sexuality.
Well, I can certainly assure you something about myself, at the very least. While I can appreciate that a lady looks super fine, I certainly don’t feel romantically towards my fellow females, much less want to do dirty things with them.
Sorry, but it just isn’t for me.
What’s so bad about a life without sex? There are other ways to know the one you love. After all, if there can be sex without relationships, surely there can be relationships without sex.
Asexuals deserve to be known and respected. We deserve to be treated as normal people instead of sex-hating freaks.
We’re not condemning it for you. We just think cake is better than sex.