Put your trust in the inbox

If you live on campus, then this is a recurrent scene: you walk by the dorms common area or the “Mayfield bench” and you see the couples. Ring-by-spring, gotta-get-a-Christian-wife-or-parents-will-kill-me; call it what you will, it can be seen everywhere on campus.

I do not want to talk about the dating scene on campus, at least, not like it is usually discussed. Instead, I want to bring a new development in the world of dating to your attention.

Think back to high school. Now imagine one of the hallways there. Chances are that the halls will be stuffed with young couples madly in love, right? Seeing as how they are merely young pups, they most likely are not able to get married. Chances are also likely they do not have enough money to buy expensive things for each other to show their affection, so what is there to do? They exchange letter jackets and locker combinations.

According to a recent article from the New York Times, young couples are starting to exchange Facebook and e-mail passwords with each other to show that they don’t have anything to hide.

Many feel like it is a sign of trust, while others feel as if they are pressured into it; much the same way that many young people feel pressured into sex. While being able to be completely honest and open with a loved one is a great thing, people still need to have some things be private.

Sean Roycraft, a junior at JBU, does not think that sharing passwords would be beneficial to a relationship. As Roycraft states, “part of the relationship is to learn how to trust each other. It strengthens the relationship more because you can trust each other without needing to see some sort of evidence.”

Not everyone sees it this way. If you are an ordinary college student, then you probably have a hard time staying away from Facebook during finals unless someone holds you accountable. One of the ways students are combating this is by giving their password to a trusted friend, have them change the password, and then when finals are over the friend discloses the new password. This rarely ends up with any bad consequences, except maybe a couple of funny status updates here and there.

There is still one more question to ask: what if I’m going to get married soon? Is it a good idea for engaged couples to be sharing that much with each other?

Jayme Moore, a transfer student to JBU, says that she “would share that much with David [her fiancé]. Our relationship is to the point where we are starting to share more private things that we wouldn’t share in a more casual relationship.”

So the question I would like for you to ponder is this: is there a point in a relationship when it is okay to share passwords to sites like Facebook, or should we learn to trust our significant other without having to peruse their inboxes?