If you are a freshman, you should not date. I suppose you have been set up to fail this plea. After all, you have heard now for years about people meeting “the one” in college. Your parents, your siblings, maybe even your friends are proudly sporting the latest (or oldest) fashion of ring,
now it’s your turn to shine. Then of course you have the upperclassmen who, during karaoke, firmly reinforced that you will in fact get a ring by spring. The only thing that was missing was, of course, your one and only. Nevertheless,at Big Games, as if by fate, your eyes met with the most bodacious (or handsome) specimen in all the land. Yet I still I ask, do not date.
Feelings can be a strange thing. They seem to come and go as they please. Everybody has feelings and they will forever be a part of your life. What you do with them however, will make or break the years to come. The world will tell you that you must act quickly, that at the first sight of affection it is necessary to test the waters. Our JBU culture promotes that relationships are a must-have now that you’ve made it to the big leagues. But, what if our culture is wrong? What if this idea that spontaneity and whimsical love at first sight does not occur as much as we wish it would?
We, as people, want to be loved. We want feelings. We want affection. That is why it is so easy, as freshmen, to come to college and jump on the first liking that we have. Or maybe the second or third. Have you noticed that you can’t control feelings? You like someone one week, you have your entire life planned out, and then the next week it is the same thing with the next “the one.”
During your freshman year of college, you will grow more than your entire four years of high school. Who you are now will not be the same person that you are in eight months. Your entire life has been affected by the people around you. Your parents, teachers, pastors, even friends have molded your identity. Now you’re on your own, and you can form your own identify. Dating at this time in your life would mean forfeiting the opportunity to nd who you are by placing your identity in someone who will likely be a stranger by the end of the year. Dating someone now would mean missing out on friendships that could last a lifetime. Dating now only means setting yourself back emotionally, academically and spiritually.
College is not easy. No matter who you are, you are ultimately here to get an education. You are here to grow and to learn. Your sanity will be tested over and over. The world tells us that the only way to overcome this is by having someone there to comfort you, to guide you, and tell you that it is going
to be okay. They’re not all that wrong. You do need someone there, but His love will be much more than the feelings a J. Alvin man or May eld woman can give you. His love and his comfort are unconditional. Instead of placing your identity in temporary feelings, use this time in your life to grow in your identity in Jesus Christ, who is forever. Please, do not date your freshman year.
Holman is a sophomore majoring in family and human services. He can be reached at HolmanQ@jbu.edu.